Is St Andrews worth a visit?
Town on the east coast of Fife, well known for its golf and academia. The university is in the exclusive echelon, and St Andrews is every bit as swanky as expected. The golf should come as no surprise, but the beach at West Sands does, and boy, what a beach! At least it is for the three days a year in summer they get the sun up here.
What to see and do in St Andrews?
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South Street
Quite a small town with two main shopping drags. Whether along here or Market Street, it's fairly swanky stuff and you'll never be far from the likes of a 'World of Cashmere'.
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St Andrews Cathedral
The 'Relics of St. Andrew' refers to his bones, and that's Andrew the apostle as in one of JC's right-hand men. They were brought here from Greece but destroyed during the Scottish Reformation, leaving just a sliver of shoulder blade in Edinburgh. Not that we're totally buying it, although at least we now know what a 'relic' is when not referring to us directly.
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West Sands
Nearly two miles of the golden stuff with a golf course at your back. This is where they filmed sequences for Chariots of Fire, and more recently Race Against the Tide, which they might as well have called The Great British Sandcastle, even if the idea was nicked from Canada.
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Northpoint Cafe
Supposed location for an episode of First Dates starring HRH Will and Kate. That's Will as in 'one day will be King William', King William? We're only getting used to King Charles; that still doesn't sound right, does it?
SlyBob are heading as far up Fife as it's possible to go when the rain finally decides to ease. St Andrews is a convenient stop, but is it as swanky as suspected? There's only one way to find out - off we go...
For no other reason than this is on the way to somewhere else and there's simply no avoiding it. Besides, no point being where we really want to be while the rain persists?
So why not pop into a posh, university town for a coffee or a green tea but definitely no coughing up for green fees, but more on that in a minute, eh?
This is a first time in Fife and initial impressions are that it looks great, even in the rain, a not-unusual Scottish experience, but that now means hanging around in shops with little intention to buy.
That includes inside J & G Innes, a good old-fashioned, family-run bookshop and a St Andrews institution for over 140 years.
Except the books are no longer filed alphabetically by author and subject but in the permanently closed category, big news that even made it to the BBC™.
The owners decided to retire, you see, and shut up shop on New Year's Eve 2023. That meant not so much of a Hogmanay, more of a Hogman-Hay-on-Wye, which is where most of the stock might end up, eh?
It's not known if the new tenants will retain the oak exterior, unlikely if, or when, Wetherspoon™s invade. No, it'll all be ripped down and the Directory of Contrived Waterhole Naming will call it the 'Old Stationers' (1/5), like there aren't enough fleshpots along South Street already?
The slippery-when-wet cobbles on Market Street - thanks Rob - aren't the originals since that would make them 12th-century old, the first recorded date of trading along here.
There is, however, something of a similar age and for that it's a short hop up and over North Street to the Scores.
There's no modern, indoor shopping centre here in which to mooch and nurse a mug of tea following a Full Scottish as you would elsewhere in comparable conditions.
You'll likely end up somewhere like this and, well, the subject was bound to pop up sooner or later so let's nip this elephant in the bud.
Northpoint Cafe is where HRH Will met Kate, possibly on an introductory date, and they'll tell you that much in the window, so are still dining out on it some 20 years later.
Not the royal couple, they've long since moved on not that anybody needs to know about it in so much detail.
Remember the Scores? Reportedly the 'Most Expensive Street in Scotland', real-estate-wise, which should come as no surprise since every other property is a stately home.
Quite a lot of the buildings are given over to the university including some student lodgings - thanks Richard - that don't exactly look to be character building.
After the Oxbridges, the university is the third oldest in the 'English-speaking' world and could be considered to be in the exclusive echelon, results included.
The guest houses to the west are clearly catering to those who require lodgings while they visit their children who are lodging on a longer but still-temporary basis but whose parents' permanent lodgings are likely to be far more luxurious.
That's all a rather long-winded way, by the way, of saying the town is as wealthy as suspected, there's a right whiff of it.
While we're here, nice views down and out to the North Sea from the back of the university-operated Wardlaw Museum although any evidence is obsolete in the current climate. No views, neither, on the contents, which showcase the educational establishment's history and act not only to inform but as an overseas recruitment drive.
Incidentally, it's not known where 'Scores' comes from because if you Google™ it with St Andrews then the results all link to some braggart or other claiming a hole-in-one on the tricky, Par-3 8th.
East Scores is where you'll find St Andrews Castle, but following centuries of ding-dongs with the English, not that much of the 12th-century fortification remains.
There's more of it behind and below the east tower, with the most interesting aspect, perhaps, an 'underground' mine, which, thinking about it, is where they're generally found.
In 1546, the 2nd Earl of Arran, whoever he was, tried tunnelling in, but was met with a 'counter-mine' dug by resident Protestants in an attempt to keep the enemy out.
The event is inevitably linked to Mary Queen of Scots, and there's an earlier association with Robert the Bruce. If only Robert 'Rabbie' Burns had written a poem about it, that would make for an unplayable hand in Scottish Castle Poker.
As for the underground mine, it seems you're currently not allowed down, which is a shame since it would provide some convenient cover today, being underground and all, a fact that, thinking about it, doesn't really need to be advertised.
A more-than-serviceable beach can be seen down there, not that there's any point investigating today.
Castle Sands - thanks Nikki - aren't quite as impressive as West Sands, which is where they filmed the famous scenes in Chariots of Fire, but there's further reason not to suss out the shore.
Stern warnings are given to students for "NO post-exam duckings", and reports of all-night parties with the littering that comes with it suggest we've got another Newquay on our hands?
St Andrews? Sounds like you'd need the patience of one should you fancy a decent night's sleep for a few weeks in the summer.
Right next door to the castle is St Andrews Cathedral, and if you're a member of Historic Environment Scotland then you can fill your boots for 'free' with here and the castle. It pre-dates the castle by a couple of decades, but not much of this remains, neither, the Scottish Reformation and all that.
Miraculously, maybe, St. Rule's Tower, there on the right, stays standing and was built 100 years earlier to house the relics of St. Andrew. The relics of St. Andrew?
Right then, that's St. Andrew the apostle, one of JC's right-hand men here in, well, St Andrews? It certainly is and St. Rule, or St. Regulus as you probably know him, inexplicably fled here in the 300s, it's said, bringing with him Andy's old bones.
Ah! So that's what's meant by 'relics' and not forgotten football programmes or tasting menus left lying about in his loft. No, and he was encouraged to do so in a vision to preserve the petrified pieces in a place as far away as possible from Greece.
He either didn't like the look of Dundee or perhaps he fancied a game of golf?
Golf, of course, the main attraction for those not being educated here and we'll drive out past the Old Course with a semi-familiar view back up the 18th fairway - thanks rob - to the Hamilton Grand Hotel.
This isn't just any golf, though, this is premium golf and attracts the sort of types who think nothing of £250 a round. That appears not to be overly extortionate for the world's oldest, despite it being a public, course, as long as you can prove you're nearly on par with a pro.
An advertised three-night package, however, is asking northwards of £4.5K and a couple inconsiderately unloading at the Rusacks Hotel look to have forked out for it, yet another whiff of the wealth here.
Meanwhile, back on the 18th fairway, the hole is just one of 126, which is a way of saying there are seven golf courses within walking distance of town. That's more holes than there are in SlyBob's combined knowledge of the game, but not the reason for spoiling a good walk today.
There are seven courses within walking distance you say? But what about driving distance?
Around 200 yards with a fair wind, eh?