SlyBob's Travel Guide to...
Skipton
(For the nerds)
Is Skipton worth a visit?
A castle and a canal are good reasons to pound this fine North Yorkshire town's pavements. Not that there's much for a pound, these days, even at Skipton's famous street market, which still draws in the coachloads.
What to see and do in Skipton?
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Skipton Castle
It's a castle and it's in Skipton, what more can be said? Well, it's up a hill, as they tend to be, but as for who, when and why, you'll have to find out for yourselves.
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Leeds & Liverpool Canal
It's a canal linking Leeds and Liverpool, and it runs right through the middle of Skipton. 'Ow am I thur?' You're a foot in front!
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Skipton Market
It's an outdoor market on Skipton's high street and the stalls are stocked four times a week. It remains a destination for day-trippers, bringing extra bustle to an already busy town.
No strangers to Skipton, we've popped in on a few occasions over the years. Here's a chance to update the memory banks and see if anything much has changed. Hopefully not - off we go...
This fine North Yorkshire town is named from the old word for sheep, of course, and not a reputation for the locals rummaging around in the refuse...
'Have you seen Harry?'
Aye, he's in t'skip!
'Harry? he's skip t'in?'
Not that you, Harry or whoever would ever be inclined to, for there's a famously good-value market here most days where you can buy a competitively priced shirt and/or 100 metres of tin foil.
That makes it one of the few commodities that's actually quicker to run than unravel.
What is noticeable is how northern this place is. SlyBob hail from even more north of here but we found them practically unintelligible...
'What's that Skipp(ton)y? There's been an explosion at t'brewery and boss is up to his oxters in Fosters?'
Just glad to hear he's OK and he didn't 'top his clogs'.
There's more evidence at the Early Doors micropub, which you'll find next door to Arkwrights.
Early Doors, of course, an early-noughties BBC documentary of simple pub folk up north, and it appears people are partial to a pint in Skipton.
Stuck up a back lane, it might look like someone's front room but these chaps are genuinely crafty and CAMRA™ concurs.
As far as SlyBob are concerned, there are no other pubs in Skipton.
They started out in Skipton, then they moved to Keighley, and now they're back in Skipton on the same industrial estate, make your mind up guys!
Not that they're on an industrial scale, mind, and it's a shame they no longer have a 'tap', but they're a staple in Skipton and the surroundings, so keep a lookout for them in your local.
Spoons have a tradition of naming their pubs based on the history of the place or the old building they invariably inhabit. The inevitable offering in a settlement of this size is called the Devonshire, because it was formerly the Devonshire Inn.
There are no awards for the almost-out-of-date ale, but the Director of Contrived Waterhole Branding was clearly on holiday or couldn't be bothered to get out of bed that day. Whoever deputised on that decision is getting an immediate (0/5) and they might as well have stayed in bed themselves that morning.
As for inside? It's a Wetherspoon™s man!
Skipton Castle - thanks Ian - is exactly where and what it is, likely passed down the hill on the way in from where the conquering lord once surveyed his reward for helping Norman out.
'Passed' being the operative word, if you too decide there's no getting into 'profit' with English Heritage™, having signed up with them back when we were so beguiled by Belsay.
It's privately owned, you see, by the Fattorini family whose fortunes were made flogging all things shiny in the 19th century. Their decorative enamelling still particularly catches the eye, which is ironic... have you seen the state of their website?
Hidden lanes and yards behind the high street are reminiscent of a smaller North Yorkshire village before coming to the canal. Yes, this is very much canal country.
A short branch takes you along to the castle, where there's a nice towpathy vibe, but where it meets the main Leeds & Liverpool Canal is where things really get lively.
Not in a no-more-than four MPH kind of lively, more like four More Pints per Hour judging by the boozhounds at the Boathouse Bar.
There are guided, watery tours with one offering 'rib-tickling' recorded commentary by none other than Lancashire's Dave Spikey, at least there was on our first visit.
Pushed for time, the invite had to be declined, opting instead to just watch the busy waterway for a while. One of the skippers, gingerly attempting a reverse mooring needed a guide in...
'Ow am I thur?'
You're a foot in front!
Yes, it looks like a difficult manoeuvre, but there's no need for that kind of language! That, by the way, is © None other than Lancashire's Dave Spikey. Nice one, David.
The excitement of a random tandoori in a random UK town always delivers, as will Pitra if you give them a call.
This used to be Aagrah's, a small local chain that has been forced to downsize, although their flagship restaurant is still in Shipley if you're loyal to the brand. Pitra have since moved in and look to have maintained the modern take on the conventional curry in what could be a nightclub.
The old cotton mills are long since defunct, but rather than lament their demise, we're looking at you, Sting and Jimmy Nail re: The River Tyne, they've been converted for the retail and the residential.
Despite hailing from near Doncaster, legendary Yorkshire cricketer Fred Trueman, RIP, adopted Skipton as his home. He's honoured in bronze hereabouts, but on our first visit, and just like one of fiery Fred's fast, full tosses, we didn't even see it.
A deliberate diversion has been made today, though, and here he is.
Aye, now we sithee.
This was a few years ago, mind, so the family-run, excellent-value lodgings and unexpectedly good canalside dining at what was formerly the Rendezvous Hotel can no longer be confirmed.
Pre-dinner drinks, including a couple of Copper Dragons, saw a bathrobed couple in the seated area of the bar who'd clearly been on the sauce all day. Saucy it got until all were just a flannelette's width away from a full floor show.
'Bit awkward that...' said the barman, 'We've a wedding tomorrow and she's t'bride!'